








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 208 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,325 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2901 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1770 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1994 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1660 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $678,657 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | donut | 54% | 54 |
| #2 | Whirly | 52% | 147 |
| #3 | anime grill | 51% | 68 |
| #4 | Skout | 48% | 176 |
| #5 | Goombaz | 47% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Goombaz | 47% | 103 |
| #6 | AyeJex | 46% | 239 |
| #7 | TRL | 46% | 164 |
| #8 | BigOrca | 34% | 29 |
| #9 | PhanTasM | 34% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRL | 14 | 0.0040 |
| #2 | AyeJex | 9 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | donut | 9 | 0.0075 |
| #4 | Skout | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Whirly | 4 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skout | 885 | 0.23 | 26 min |
| #2 | AyeJex | 878 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #3 | Whirly | 663 | 0.21 | 18 min |
| #4 | TRL | 567 | 0.16 | 16 min |
| #5 | donut | 316 | 0.26 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skout | +2.84 | 76 | 69 |
| #2 | donut | +2.51 | 80 | 69 |
| #3 | AyeJex | +0.90 | 73 | 68 |
| #4 | anime grill | +0.82 | 73 | 66 |
| #5 | PhanTasM | +0.74 | 67 | 69 |





