








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 905 matches | ||
| Faceit | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




76 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9664 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,564 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12474 | 37% |
| Smokes | 7713 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 7739 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5638 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,017,358 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 965 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BASS PUMPIN | 65% | 66 |
| #2 | Verify | 62% | 148 |
| #3 | donut | 54% | 139 |
| #4 | Skout | 54% | 469 |
| #5 | Whirly | 53% | 316 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | AyeJex | 52% | 415 |
| #7 | PhanTasM | 50% | 180 |
| #8 | BigOrca | 48% | 95 |
| #9 | Skraapz | 46% | 164 |
| #10 | Goombaz | 46% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skout | 34 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | donut | 18 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | AyeJex | 15 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Whirly | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Verify | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skout | 2195 | 0.23 | 61 min |
| #2 | AyeJex | 1448 | 0.17 | 40 min |
| #3 | Whirly | 1290 | 0.20 | 33 min |
| #4 | PhanTasM | 793 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #5 | donut | 663 | 0.23 | 17 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Verify | +2.60 | 87 | 54 |
| #2 | Skout | +2.17 | 71 | 67 |
| #3 | BASS PUMPIN | +1.20 | 81 | 49 |
| #4 | donut | +1.19 | 82 | 63 |
| #5 | AyeJex | +0.68 | 71 | 67 |





