








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 316 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 114 matches | ||
| Faceit | 87 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2323 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,835 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4212 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3593 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1612 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 2418 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $438,196 of utility $84 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 104 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BipoPtHCUAA9ZIn | 67% | 30 |
| #2 | spt | 63% | 52 |
| #3 | Dorkan | 62% | 68 |
| #4 | AweeP | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | bjork | 60% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | bäri | 59% | 88 |
| #9 | Thiag | 57% | 28 |
| #10 | fr4ll3 | 54% | 37 |
| #11 | skaningen1 | 53% | 30 |
| #12 | mabbe ツ | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spt | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | kallej | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | BipoPtHCUAA9ZIn | 2 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | skaningen1 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | bjork | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bjork | 563 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | Dorkan | 174 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | bäri | 156 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | sensie | 124 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | AweeP | 122 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kallej | +1.51 | 88 | 74 |
| #2 | bjork | +1.39 | 86 | 64 |
| #3 | skaningen1 | +1.37 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | fr4ll3 | +1.28 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | AweeP | +0.99 | 69 | 77 |





