








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 490 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 331 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 110 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3143 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,520 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3789 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4131 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4376 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4224 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $778,272 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 74 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spt | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | Devlyn | 59% | 88 |
| #3 | Trash | 57% | 21 |
| #4 | bjork | 55% | 128 |
| #5 | sensie | 55% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AweeP | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | mabbe ツ | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | spt | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Trash | 2 | 0.0041 |
| #5 | bjork | 1 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AweeP | 874 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #2 | mabbe ツ | 726 | 0.16 | 24 min |
| #3 | Devlyn | 513 | 0.29 | 14 min |
| #4 | bjork | 488 | 0.19 | 15 min |
| #5 | Dorkan | 327 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bjork | +2.01 | 85 | 64 |
| #2 | ✪ ηiino ◢◤ | +1.86 | 88 | 77 |
| #3 | Dorkan | +1.35 | 72 | 70 |
| #4 | Devlyn | +1.24 | 58 | 69 |
| #5 | sensie | +0.86 | 68 | 67 |





