








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 461 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 167 matches | ||
| Faceit | 41 matches | ||
| Esplay | 3 matches | 2,252 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2657 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,796 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1453 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2702 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1959 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1682 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $514,356 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1045 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AweeP | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | bjork | 66% | 65 |
| #3 | bäri | 65% | 46 |
| #4 | Devlyn | 63% | 52 |
| #5 | sensie | 61% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AweeP | 67% | 18 |
| #2 | bjork | 66% | 65 |
| #3 | bäri | 65% | 46 |
| #4 | Devlyn | 63% | 52 |
| #5 | sensie | 61% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sensie | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | AweeP | 1 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devlyn | 261 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #2 | bjork | 260 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #3 | bäri | 77 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | sensie | 40 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #5 | AweeP | 36 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bjork | +2.42 | 87 | 68 |
| #2 | AweeP | +1.24 | 77 | 74 |
| #3 | spt | +1.09 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | Devlyn | +0.70 | 63 | 70 |
| #5 | sensie | +0.29 | 69 | 56 |





