










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 849 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 348 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4720 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,242 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5388 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4794 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 5014 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 5046 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,242,681 of utility $134 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1243 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bjork | 65% | 97 |
| #2 | ✪ ηiino ◢◤ | 62% | 52 |
| #3 | sensie | 61% | 96 |
| #4 | Devlyn | 61% | 46 |
| #5 | Dorkan | 55% | 115 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bäri | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | mabbe ツ | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #3 | Trash | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Dorkan | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | sensie | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mabbe ツ | 1064 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #2 | bäri | 534 | 0.10 | 13 min |
| #3 | Dorkan | 358 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #4 | bjork | 346 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | Devlyn | 245 | 0.28 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ ηiino ◢◤ | +2.57 | 92 | 80 |
| #2 | bjork | +2.32 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | Dorkan | +1.42 | 74 | 69 |
| #4 | sensie | +1.21 | 70 | 67 |
| #5 | Devlyn | +0.89 | 51 | 75 |





