








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 521 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 241 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 69 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3462 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3173 | 23% |
| Smokes | 3975 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4357 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2244 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $859,169 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 41 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | AweeP | 55% | 115 |
| #9 | bäri | 54% | 108 |
| #10 | mabbe ツ | 50% | 103 |
| #11 | Trash | 49% | 95 |
| #12 | Yoogie | 48% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trash | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | AweeP | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | bäri | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #4 | mabbe ツ | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | sensie | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Devlyn | 537 | 0.38 | 15 min |
| #2 | AweeP | 445 | 0.18 | 14 min |
| #3 | mabbe ツ | 371 | 0.17 | 12 min |
| #4 | bjork | 251 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #5 | bäri | 220 | 0.10 | 6 min |





