








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,206 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 770 | 24% |
| Smokes | 777 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1030 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 629 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $108,211 of utility $56 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Peel ♥ | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Pizz | 67% | 36 |
| #3 | Olsson | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | Berkan62 | 55% | 11 |
| #5 | Jonken | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | biktor | 48% | 23 |
| #9 | Donkey | 44% | 9 |
| #10 | Elon Musk | 44% | 36 |
| #11 | Ogrecrabs | 43% | 23 |
| #12 | B1tchter | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | 6 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Elon Musk | 5 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | biktor | 4 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | Pizz | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | biktor | 145 | 0.28 | 4 min |
| #2 | Elon Musk | 143 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | Max | 138 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #4 | Pizz | 87 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Ogrecrabs | 49 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Max | +3.29 | 75 | 62 |
| #2 | Elon Musk | +1.66 | 85 | 66 |
| #3 | Olsson | +0.98 | 56 | 63 |
| #4 | Berkan62 | +0.77 | 76 | 47 |
| #5 | Jonken | +0.31 | 71 | 54 |





