








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 137 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 85 matches | ||
| Faceit | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3377 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3486 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2866 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2213 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2306 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $899,282 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 61 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bilbo boilings 🐔 | 78% | 27 |
| #2 | hOlic | 63% | 83 |
| #3 | swamppis | 58% | 19 |
| #4 | chiken kebab | 55% | 82 |
| #5 | kuhvari | 54% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | vozER -♿- | 52% | 73 |
| #9 | NakkiDAI | 47% | 19 |
| #10 | Oukki | 47% | 45 |
| #11 | Julma | 46% | 92 |
| #12 | bossz[st] | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oukki | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | hOlic | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | kuhvari | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Julma | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | chiken kebab | 3 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryhis | 646 | 0.29 | 18 min |
| #2 | kuhvari | 354 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #3 | vozER -♿- | 351 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #4 | hOlic | 272 | 0.14 | 8 min |
| #5 | Oukki | 187 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | +4.30 | 80 | 57 |
| #2 | niskala ) | +1.48 | 61 | 72 |
| #3 | NakkiDAI | +1.39 | 55 | 70 |
| #4 | Ryhis | +0.59 | 47 | 74 |
| #5 | swamppis | +0.45 | 75 | 57 |





