








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 234 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 112 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2293 | 29% |
| Smokes | 1991 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2309 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1361 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $619,636 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 15 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryhis | 65% | 49 |
| #2 | niskala ) | 63% | 83 |
| #3 | kuhvari | 62% | 185 |
| #4 | chiken kebab | 57% | 185 |
| #5 | Julma | 57% | 138 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Julma | 57% | 138 |
| #6 | vozER -♿- | 56% | 99 |
| #7 | cofee burger | 55% | 20 |
| #8 | ✪ Sandwich Führer | 50% | 12 |
| #9 | Nielsen | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Julma | 4 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | kuhvari | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | vozER -♿- | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | niskala ) | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vozER -♿- | 489 | 0.22 | 16 min |
| #2 | kuhvari | 429 | 0.10 | 12 min |
| #3 | Ryhis | 333 | 0.29 | 9 min |
| #4 | niskala ) | 277 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | chiken kebab | 272 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chiken kebab | +4.34 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | niskala ) | +2.28 | 61 | 73 |
| #3 | Nielsen | +1.42 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | kuhvari | +0.89 | 72 | 71 |
| #5 | Ryhis | +0.74 | 47 | 74 |





