








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 452 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6283 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,745 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4408 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1461 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 6533 | 41% |
| Molotovs | 3343 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $4,449,109 of utility $258 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #16 | bossz[st] | 44% | 101 |
| #17 | Oukki | 42% | 190 |
| #18 | KuuYkkönenKantaa | 42% | 65 |
| #19 | TALLIPÄÄLLIKKÖ | 40% | 88 |
| #20 | bilbo boilings 🐔 | 22% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kuhvari | 23 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Oukki | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Ryhis | 8 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ✪ Sandwich Führer | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | chiken kebab | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ryhis | 1455 | 0.32 | 41 min |
| #2 | kuhvari | 1271 | 0.12 | 37 min |
| #3 | vozER -♿- | 1011 | 0.24 | 33 min |
| #4 | Oukki | 639 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #5 | hOlic | 369 | 0.12 | 10 min |





