








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 198 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Agency | 88 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2472 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,807 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 320 | 11% |
| Smokes | 1211 | 43% |
| HE Grenades | 696 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 580 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $277,370 of utility $35 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 699 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | HEISENBERG | 60% | 62 |
| #2 | Touring Liam | 46% | 50 |
| #3 | Munchis | 45% | 64 |
| #4 | Jöns Håkansson från Bemanab | 45% | 257 |
| #5 | jocheN | 44% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | KebabStockExperten.se | 40% | 109 |
| #10 | its me, Jeiko, duh. | 39% | 92 |
| #11 | Bipolar Owl | 39% | 87 |
| #12 | ballhalla | 31% | 89 |
| #13 | Söder #LOVE ABBA# | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Touring Liam | 17 | 0.0168 |
| #2 | Sweden > Norway | 13 | 0.0110 |
| #3 | Jöns Håkansson från Bemanab | 6 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | HEISENBERG | 4 | 0.0032 |
| #5 | Munchis | 4 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sweden > Norway | 206 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | its me, Jeiko, duh. | 202 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | HEISENBERG | 134 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | KebabStockExperten.se | 123 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Touring Liam | 122 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Touring Liam | +6.00 | 81 | 51 |
| #2 | Sweden > Norway | +2.76 | 57 | 51 |
| #3 | Munchis | +2.44 | 61 | 46 |
| #4 | HEISENBERG | +1.76 | 58 | 53 |
| #5 | NN1CKE> | +1.66 | 33 | 58 |





