








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 67 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2051 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,802 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2067 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1768 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1310 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1657 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $293,610 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 62% | 42 |
| #2 | Cryptic | 59% | 73 |
| #3 | MindStorm | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | Pontic | 58% | 55 |
| #5 | Phoenix | 56% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Phoenix | 56% | 150 |
| #6 | Logs | 56% | 27 |
| #7 | Wayha | 55% | 118 |
| #8 | MSM | 52% | 75 |
| #9 | Twin | 46% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Cryptic | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | MSM | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | Logs | 3 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | MindStorm | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 636 | 0.21 | 21 min |
| #2 | Wayha | 326 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | MSM | 220 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Dan | 210 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #5 | Pontic | 191 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | +3.34 | 84 | 72 |
| #2 | Cryptic | +3.02 | 93 | 68 |
| #3 | Theo | +2.04 | 86 | 71 |
| #4 | Pontic | +0.92 | 71 | 68 |
| #5 | Logs | +0.52 | 73 | 65 |





