








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1046 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 109 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 39 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,685 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9760 | 29% |
| Smokes | 9269 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5666 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 8990 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,024,594 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 617 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptic | 61% | 314 |
| #2 | Phoenix | 59% | 343 |
| #3 | Logs | 59% | 214 |
| #4 | techyyy | 59% | 49 |
| #5 | MSM | 58% | 299 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MSM | 58% | 299 |
| #6 | Dan | 58% | 145 |
| #7 | Pontic | 57% | 189 |
| #8 | Theo | 55% | 118 |
| #9 | Aclify | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptic | 31 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Phoenix | 26 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | MSM | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | Logs | 9 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Aclify | 9 | 0.0090 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 1481 | 0.22 | 50 min |
| #2 | Logs | 1146 | 0.27 | 30 min |
| #3 | Pontic | 916 | 0.24 | 24 min |
| #4 | Cryptic | 751 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #5 | MSM | 737 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptic | +3.56 | 92 | 66 |
| #2 | Dan | +2.61 | 82 | 70 |
| #3 | techyyy | +2.09 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | Theo | +2.04 | 84 | 71 |
| #5 | Logs | +1.68 | 80 | 66 |





