








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2251 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 598 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 69 matches | ||
| Faceit | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 76 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14035 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 37,352 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 12548 | 34% |
| Smokes | 10570 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 4606 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 9628 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,582,947 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1019 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FAT BOI™ | 68% | 66 |
| #2 | Cryptic | 66% | 161 |
| #3 | warn | 66% | 58 |
| #4 | Phoenix | 62% | 109 |
| #5 | legacy | 62% | 290 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Wayha | 58% | 145 |
| #13 | Tsamina mina | 58% | 278 |
| #14 | rose | 58% | 66 |
| #15 | Goober Guth | 57% | 84 |
| #16 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 52% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | techyyy | 32 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Tsamina mina | 18 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | legacy | 16 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Logs | 15 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Cryptic | 12 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tsamina mina | 1608 | 0.28 | 42 min |
| #2 | techyyy | 1094 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #3 | Pontic | 1009 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #4 | legacy | 974 | 0.16 | 25 min |
| #5 | Sunny | 913 | 0.23 | 25 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | +3.43 | 85 | 69 |
| #2 | Cryptic | +2.83 | 90 | 64 |
| #3 | Logs | +1.25 | 79 | 66 |
| #4 | techyyy | +1.13 | 81 | 55 |
| #5 | rose | +0.98 | 79 | 55 |





