








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 26 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5093 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6303 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4249 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2305 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 4837 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $669,431 of utility $68 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 365 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sunny | 74% | 35 |
| #2 | legacy | 64% | 84 |
| #3 | Cryptic | 62% | 208 |
| #4 | Dan | 61% | 217 |
| #5 | Logs | 61% | 136 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Wayha | 57% | 189 |
| #11 | techyyy | 56% | 102 |
| #12 | Goober Guth | 56% | 45 |
| #13 | Sir_Not_Cooking | 49% | 49 |
| #14 | aaa | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptic | 18 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | Phoenix | 13 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Dan | 11 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | techyyy | 10 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Logs | 6 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dan | 984 | 0.21 | 28 min |
| #2 | Logs | 687 | 0.25 | 19 min |
| #3 | Wayha | 634 | 0.17 | 15 min |
| #4 | Phoenix | 582 | 0.22 | 19 min |
| #5 | Cryptic | 495 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptic | +3.52 | 92 | 67 |
| #2 | Dan | +2.94 | 83 | 70 |
| #3 | Theo | +1.27 | 87 | 72 |
| #4 | techyyy | +1.09 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | Logs | +0.72 | 80 | 67 |





