








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1204 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 189 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 97 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 36 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7873 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,421 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4796 | 20% |
| Smokes | 5708 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 6421 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6496 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,696,322 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 172 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | legacy | 75% | 40 |
| #2 | Phoenix | 68% | 186 |
| #3 | Dan | 66% | 161 |
| #4 | Logs | 66% | 215 |
| #5 | Pontic | 62% | 208 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | besse | 49% | 43 |
| #12 | Widget ☯ | 49% | 125 |
| #13 | BigJilldo | 47% | 154 |
| #14 | DOOT | 46% | 91 |
| #15 | Spicy Ravioli | 44% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Phoenix | 18 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Dan | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | techyyy | 8 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | MSM | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Logs | 7 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wayha | 1079 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #2 | Logs | 1046 | 0.25 | 29 min |
| #3 | Pontic | 1001 | 0.24 | 25 min |
| #4 | Phoenix | 872 | 0.24 | 32 min |
| #5 | Dan | 764 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptic | +4.29 | 93 | 66 |
| #2 | Dan | +2.93 | 86 | 68 |
| #3 | Theo | +1.69 | 86 | 69 |
| #4 | Logs | +1.23 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | techyyy | +1.03 | 86 | 60 |





