








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 173 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 53 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4837 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3100 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2622 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 3141 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $799,672 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 315 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | MSM | 59% | 209 |
| #10 | Pontic | 57% | 134 |
| #11 | Theo | 56% | 150 |
| #12 | MindStorm | 56% | 43 |
| #13 | schmittbob | 52% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptic | 15 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | Logs | 10 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | MSM | 7 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | Dan | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #5 | techyyy | 6 | 0.0075 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wayha | 1013 | 0.15 | 26 min |
| #2 | Theo | 593 | 0.20 | 17 min |
| #3 | MSM | 549 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #4 | Logs | 522 | 0.18 | 12 min |
| #5 | Cryptic | 489 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cryptic | +3.88 | 93 | 67 |
| #2 | Dan | +3.81 | 81 | 73 |
| #3 | Logs | +2.42 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | Theo | +2.00 | 84 | 72 |
| #5 | techyyy | +1.81 | 86 | 61 |





