








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 480 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 101 matches | ||
| Premier | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,165 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3990 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3028 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2263 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2884 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $336,452 of utility $61 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gaben Heal My Gambling Addiction | 83% | 23 |
| #2 | Z$ | 81% | 16 |
| #3 | dyran | 77% | 39 |
| #4 | canter | 75% | 130 |
| #5 | halcyoN | 75% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iguana | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | canter | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | dyran | 4 | 0.0054 |
| #4 | I've Been Worse | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Blueberry | 2 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | canter | 601 | 0.24 | 14 min |
| #2 | iguana | 443 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | antli0n | 311 | 0.24 | 7 min |
| #4 | Wocktor Phil | 246 | 0.33 | 5 min |
| #5 | I've Been Worse | 187 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ClappyBats | +4.00 | 86 | 76 |
| #2 | Griz | +2.54 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | canter | +2.13 | 77 | 69 |
| #4 | flying | +1.93 | 89 | 57 |
| #5 | iguana | +1.85 | 81 | 58 |





