








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 87 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2034 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,209 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2212 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1765 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 1550 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1682 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $594,459 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | canter | 71% | 93 |
| #2 | antli0n | 67% | 64 |
| #3 | halcyoN | 67% | 33 |
| #4 | ✪ClappyBats | 67% | 51 |
| #5 | Griz | 65% | 71 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Blueberry | 59% | 34 |
| #9 | Wocktor Phil | 54% | 56 |
| #10 | Gaben Heal My Gambling Addiction | 52% | 27 |
| #11 | howdy | 50% | 18 |
| #12 | dyran | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iguana | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | canter | 6 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Griz | 4 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | proto | 4 | 0.0152 |
| #5 | Wocktor Phil | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iguana | 422 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | canter | 395 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #3 | Wocktor Phil | 361 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #4 | Griz | 286 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | antli0n | 275 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ClappyBats | +3.85 | 89 | 78 |
| #2 | Griz | +3.46 | 69 | 70 |
| #3 | canter | +2.76 | 81 | 68 |
| #4 | iguana | +1.98 | 82 | 60 |
| #5 | antli0n | +1.01 | 79 | 52 |





