








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 861 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 113 matches | ||
| Premier | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5305 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,538 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5356 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4342 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3011 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3829 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $864,205 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 546 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keng | 75% | 32 |
| #2 | Griz | 74% | 57 |
| #3 | CK | 71% | 35 |
| #4 | canter | 68% | 117 |
| #5 | iguana | 67% | 126 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | GP ❤︎ Crashout Queen | 59% | 51 |
| #12 | Wocktor Phil | 51% | 43 |
| #13 | Jean | 46% | 26 |
| #14 | Blueberry | 44% | 27 |
| #15 | xo | 42% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iguana | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | canter | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Wocktor Phil | 5 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | Jean | 4 | 0.0075 |
| #5 | CK | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | canter | 604 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #2 | iguana | 370 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Wocktor Phil | 297 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #4 | ✪ClappyBats | 283 | 0.22 | 8 min |
| #5 | I've Been Worse | 252 | 0.20 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ClappyBats | +2.66 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | Griz | +2.53 | 69 | 75 |
| #3 | canter | +2.07 | 75 | 68 |
| #4 | antli0n | +1.85 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | iguana | +1.04 | 77 | 60 |





