








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 100 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2691 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,641 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2898 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2792 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2501 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2450 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $513,175 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | halcyoN | 60% | 25 |
| #11 | dyran | 59% | 22 |
| #12 | howdy | 54% | 24 |
| #13 | mistermyter | 50% | 18 |
| #14 | Gaben Heal My Gambling Addiction | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iguana | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | canter | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | howdy | 4 | 0.0083 |
| #4 | I've Been Worse | 3 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | proto | 3 | 0.0068 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | canter | 364 | 0.24 | 8 min |
| #2 | iguana | 332 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #3 | I've Been Worse | 315 | 0.23 | 8 min |
| #4 | antli0n | 239 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✪ClappyBats | 186 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ClappyBats | +3.05 | 85 | 78 |
| #2 | canter | +2.39 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | Griz | +2.20 | 72 | 71 |
| #4 | iguana | +1.81 | 81 | 56 |
| #5 | Blueberry | +1.70 | 48 | 67 |





