










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 244 matches | ||
| Premier | 142 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5930 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,329 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4991 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4772 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3656 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2910 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,954,430 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1126 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | I've Been Worse | 59% | 156 |
| #10 | Wocktor Phil | 58% | 130 |
| #11 | Blueberry | 57% | 81 |
| #12 | dyran | 56% | 68 |
| #13 | flying | 55% | 33 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | canter | 14 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | Wocktor Phil | 9 | 0.0034 |
| #3 | I've Been Worse | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Griz | 7 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ✪ClappyBats | 3 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | canter | 1010 | 0.23 | 21 min |
| #2 | Wocktor Phil | 826 | 0.31 | 18 min |
| #3 | I've Been Worse | 611 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #4 | antli0n | 602 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #5 | ✪ClappyBats | 552 | 0.19 | 16 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ClappyBats | +3.53 | 85 | 76 |
| #2 | Griz | +2.33 | 71 | 71 |
| #3 | canter | +2.29 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | Tuwtles | +2.15 | 75 | 81 |
| #5 | iguana | +1.95 | 81 | 58 |





