








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 526 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 180 matches | ||
| Premier | 54 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2016 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,373 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1946 | 23% |
| Smokes | 2667 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2431 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1329 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,113,869 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 150 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fish_buddi3 <*))>< | 51% | 94 |
| #2 | meloNis | 50% | 20 |
| #3 | Bjakken | 46% | 130 |
| #4 | Bestevenn | 44% | 93 |
| #5 | Frænk | 44% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bestevenn | 44% | 93 |
| #5 | Frænk | 44% | 78 |
| #6 | Ostekake! ャ | 43% | 230 |
| #7 | Biff-Slegga | 42% | 57 |
| #8 | AYYYYYYLMAO | 35% | 154 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ostekake! ャ | 18 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | AYYYYYYLMAO | 11 | 0.0035 |
| #3 | Bestevenn | 9 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Frænk | 6 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | meloNis | 4 | 0.0101 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AYYYYYYLMAO | 275 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | Ostekake! ャ | 234 | 0.05 | 6 min |
| #3 | Frænk | 176 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | fish_buddi3 <*))>< | 151 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bestevenn | 39 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meloNis | +2.51 | 73 | 49 |
| #2 | fish_buddi3 <*))>< | +2.47 | 84 | 62 |
| #3 | Frænk | +1.58 | 61 | 64 |
| #4 | Bjakken | +1.21 | 75 | 24 |
| #5 | Ostekake! ャ | +0.78 | 45 | 67 |





