








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 750 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 206 matches | ||
| Premier | 137 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2847 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1972 | 16% |
| Smokes | 3535 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4030 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2558 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,574,485 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 236 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meloNis | 53% | 83 |
| #2 | fish_buddi3 <*))>< | 50% | 107 |
| #3 | Biff-Slegga | 45% | 58 |
| #4 | Bestevenn | 44% | 91 |
| #5 | Bjakken | 43% | 152 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Bestevenn | 44% | 91 |
| #5 | Bjakken | 43% | 152 |
| #6 | ℜى - IT WAS THE SHEEP! | 43% | 230 |
| #7 | Frænk | 38% | 66 |
| #8 | AYYYYYYLMAO | 32% | 156 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AYYYYYYLMAO | 12 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | ℜى - IT WAS THE SHEEP! | 9 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | meloNis | 8 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Bestevenn | 6 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | Frænk | 4 | 0.0030 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ℜى - IT WAS THE SHEEP! | 418 | 0.09 | 12 min |
| #2 | AYYYYYYLMAO | 282 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | fish_buddi3 <*))>< | 165 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Frænk | 161 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #5 | meloNis | 87 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | meloNis | +2.40 | 75 | 51 |
| #2 | fish_buddi3 <*))>< | +1.86 | 82 | 61 |
| #3 | Bjakken | +0.95 | 75 | 23 |
| #4 | Frænk | +0.80 | 58 | 64 |
| #5 | Ostekake! ャ | +0.62 | 42 | 64 |





