








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 477 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 135 matches | ||
| Faceit | 128 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




126 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,461 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8639 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6058 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 6557 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6207 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $858,613 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 690 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | skruubz | 80% | 51 |
| #2 | weine | 78% | 93 |
| #3 | Ashamed | 75% | 48 |
| #4 | fArt | 72% | 191 |
| #5 | kommi666 | 69% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | owen | 62% | 68 |
| #10 | bango | 61% | 223 |
| #11 | traditions | 60% | 154 |
| #12 | wyan | 60% | 63 |
| #13 | Curv | 54% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bango | 42 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | traditions | 16 | 0.0052 |
| #3 | weine | 16 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | wyan | 12 | 0.0101 |
| #5 | fArt | 10 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fArt | 1406 | 0.37 | 40 min |
| #2 | bango | 967 | 0.22 | 25 min |
| #3 | traditions | 568 | 0.19 | 13 min |
| #4 | weine | 265 | 0.16 | 8 min |
| #5 | skruubz | 254 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weine | +5.52 | 90 | 69 |
| #2 | skruubz | +4.37 | 85 | 69 |
| #3 | shrooney | +2.24 | 85 | 59 |
| #4 | xtnkt | +2.17 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | Ashamed | +1.61 | 84 | 66 |





