








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 717 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 282 matches | ||
| Faceit | 205 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




54 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5624 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,397 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8588 | 28% |
| Smokes | 9848 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4055 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 7906 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,073,284 of utility $82 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4530 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Icarus | 57% | 46 |
| #2 | kam | 56% | 34 |
| #3 | Bnaugs | 56% | 52 |
| #4 | bye ππ | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | M I L K | 55% | 67 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | CashMoe | 50% | 34 |
| #8 | String Bean | 49% | 49 |
| #9 | Ρ Δ π― ΓΉ π€ | 42% | 52 |
| #10 | tj3y | 38% | 37 |
| #11 | β£ Dilly | 36% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drugga | 8 | 0.0041 |
| #2 | bye ππ | 6 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | β£ Dilly | 5 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | tj3y | 5 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | Bnaugs | 4 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Drugga | 330 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #2 | Bnaugs | 217 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | String Bean | 217 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | kam | 184 | 0.24 | 5 min |
| #5 | -Icarus | 176 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M I L K | +2.29 | 85 | 38 |
| #2 | bye ππ | +1.27 | 85 | 57 |
| #3 | 1,000 Denials | +0.96 | 81 | 66 |
| #4 | Drugga | +0.21 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | String Bean | +0.13 | 69 | 75 |





