








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2460 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3718 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3321 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1730 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2340 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $737,563 of utility $120 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 71 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThunderKrab | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | CashMoe | 57% | 49 |
| #3 | 1,000 Denials | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | -Sainted- | 55% | 29 |
| #5 | Kr1lla | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | tj3y | 50% | 30 |
| #11 | β£ Dilly | 50% | 34 |
| #12 | Ρ Δ π― ΓΉ π€ | 49% | 114 |
| #13 | Spence | 48% | 61 |
| #14 | MisfitMason | 44% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bnaugs | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Ρ Δ π― ΓΉ π€ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | String Bean | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | MisfitMason | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Spence | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | String Bean | 454 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | Bnaugs | 348 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #3 | 1,000 Denials | 324 | 0.36 | 8 min |
| #4 | MisfitMason | 254 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #5 | Ρ Δ π― ΓΉ π€ | 241 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -Sainted- | +3.30 | 64 | 62 |
| #2 | 1,000 Denials | +2.18 | 79 | 65 |
| #3 | Woots | +1.59 | 64 | 60 |
| #4 | tj3y | +0.45 | 64 | 58 |
| #5 | MisfitMason | +0.35 | 61 | 52 |





