








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 335 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 215 matches | ||
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 53 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




83 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7870 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8319 | 26% |
| Smokes | 8835 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6718 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7816 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,379,932 of utility $91 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 376 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M I L K | 60% | 138 |
| #2 | bye 👋🙂 | 58% | 187 |
| #3 | Portu | 57% | 65 |
| #4 | Ryder5k | 55% | 104 |
| #5 | 1,000 Denials | 53% | 85 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | bye 👋🙂 | 58% | 187 |
| #3 | Portu | 57% | 65 |
| #4 | Ryder5k | 55% | 104 |
| #5 | 1,000 Denials | 53% | 85 |
| #6 | linK | 47% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bye 👋🙂 | 32 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | 1,000 Denials | 12 | 0.0062 |
| #3 | linK | 7 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | Ryder5k | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | M I L K | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1,000 Denials | 554 | 0.29 | 14 min |
| #2 | Ryder5k | 460 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #3 | bye 👋🙂 | 458 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #4 | linK | 289 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #5 | M I L K | 139 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | M I L K | +3.33 | 88 | 38 |
| #2 | bye 👋🙂 | +1.78 | 85 | 49 |
| #3 | Drugga | +1.17 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | Portu | +0.97 | 79 | 51 |
| #5 | linK | +0.24 | 75 | 63 |





