








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 418 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Faceit | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4608 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4320 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4841 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3950 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5583 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,092,874 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 169 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1,000 Denials | 56% | 52 |
| #2 | -Icarus | 54% | 94 |
| #3 | Spence | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | β£ Dilly | 52% | 81 |
| #5 | Igamealot102 | 51% | 91 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | dr | 46% | 41 |
| #11 | Kr1lla | 44% | 87 |
| #12 | tj3y | 42% | 53 |
| #13 | Rice | 28% | 32 |
| #14 | Julietβ‘ | 27% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rice | 15 | 0.0310 |
| #2 | Julietβ‘ | 9 | 0.0230 |
| #3 | 1,000 Denials | 8 | 0.0074 |
| #4 | MisfitMason | 7 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Ρ Δ π― ΓΉ π€ | 5 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | String Bean | 988 | 0.25 | 27 min |
| #2 | Ρ Δ π― ΓΉ π€ | 571 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | -Icarus | 383 | 0.19 | 9 min |
| #4 | 1,000 Denials | 336 | 0.31 | 9 min |
| #5 | CashMoe | 276 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rice | +2.39 | 79 | 55 |
| #2 | 1,000 Denials | +2.33 | 79 | 68 |
| #3 | Igamealot102 | +1.55 | 93 | 58 |
| #4 | -Icarus | +0.84 | 68 | 63 |
| #5 | β£ Dilly | +0.66 | 78 | 60 |





