








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1015 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,788 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 692 | 25% |
| Smokes | 617 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 858 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 621 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $246,687 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 57% | 14 |
| #2 | pissedvegetable | 52% | 25 |
| #3 | dray-k | 47% | 17 |
| #4 | egoist | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | liberal | 39% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | egoist | 44% | 16 |
| #5 | liberal | 39% | 44 |
| #6 | CptCream420 | 24% | 17 |
| #7 | Jona | 13% | 8 |
| #8 | Bizzy Wizzy | 0% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 4 | 0.0160 |
| #2 | egoist | 2 | 0.0063 |
| #3 | CptCream420 | 2 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | liberal | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | dray-k | 1 | 0.0034 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 85 | 0.27 | 2 min |
| #2 | liberal | 52 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #3 | CptCream420 | 35 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | pissedvegetable | 24 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | I Smoke Broken Windows | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | +8.77 | 78 | 71 |
| #2 | dray-k | +3.87 | 73 | 51 |
| #3 | I Smoke Broken Windows | +0.63 | 44 | 46 |
| #4 | pissedvegetable | +0.31 | 58 | 56 |
| #5 | CptCream420 | -1.08 | 44 | 48 |





