








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 86 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1493 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,353 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1761 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2145 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3849 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 2598 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $454,064 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 201 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BBY | 58% | 19 |
| #2 | Reciente | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | draykwittheshits | 57% | 30 |
| #4 | GarthBricks | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | egoist | 55% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | CptCream420 | 46% | 72 |
| #10 | Bizzy Wizzy | 45% | 55 |
| #11 | goupy | 45% | 31 |
| #12 | type shit | 44% | 18 |
| #13 | I own aux | 32% | 25 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | egoist | 11 | 0.0326 |
| #2 | dray-k | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | CptCream420 | 4 | 0.0071 |
| #4 | Bizzy Wizzy | 4 | 0.0109 |
| #5 | goupy | 4 | 0.0131 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dray-k | 189 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #2 | CptCream420 | 79 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | egoist | 50 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #4 | GarthBricks | 50 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | draykwittheshits | 45 | 0.35 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reciente | +2.16 | 87 | 52 |
| #2 | egoist | +1.23 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | type shit | +0.60 | 75 | 55 |
| #4 | goupy | +0.43 | 30 | 50 |
| #5 | dray-k | +0.25 | 71 | 55 |





