








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1682 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 743 matches | ||
| Faceit | 237 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




110 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12995 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,362 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7135 | 35% |
| Smokes | 3428 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4459 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5340 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,925,064 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 781 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Loagurt | 84% | 67 |
| #2 | gwanwoo | 82% | 231 |
| #3 | NDB | 82% | 77 |
| #4 | 444 | 82% | 99 |
| #5 | beastcat | 80% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #13 | Astro | 63% | 81 |
| #14 | waifus sold separately | 61% | 71 |
| #15 | positively positive (✿ =‿‿=) | 58% | 59 |
| #16 | succmeedri | 56% | 68 |
| #17 | Jamba Juice | 51% | 112 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parasyte | 29 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | nate | 14 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | 444 | 10 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | gwanwoo | 7 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | waifus sold separately | 6 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | parasyte | 953 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #2 | gwanwoo | 923 | 0.20 | 25 min |
| #3 | nate | 881 | 0.10 | 21 min |
| #4 | cricks | 686 | 0.25 | 15 min |
| #5 | beastcat | 419 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | redtext | +3.98 | 75 | 67 |
| #2 | Loagurt | +3.73 | 86 | 66 |
| #3 | Primal | +2.28 | 90 | 61 |
| #4 | gwanwoo | +2.11 | 83 | 70 |
| #5 | 444 | +2.09 | 71 | 66 |





