








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 34 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 124 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1212 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,227 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1286 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1384 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1749 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 808 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $368,618 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RR <3 | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Finn | 67% | 12 |
| #3 | PrayForUkraine | 57% | 46 |
| #4 | Nuller | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | BLÆST - Lukas | 46% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | El Diablo del fuego | 43% | 93 |
| #9 | Pølsen | 42% | 45 |
| #10 | [TS] Slikolaj | 42% | 24 |
| #11 | [TS] Scoon | 40% | 10 |
| #12 | ^2Yamaha ^3Hassan (RIP) | 39% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 10 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | [TS] Action Johnson | 8 | 0.0065 |
| #3 | BLÆST - Lukas | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Mr. Rainhold | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Nuller | 3 | 0.0041 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | 270 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | BLÆST - Lukas | 160 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| #3 | [TS] Action Johnson | 153 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | PrayForUkraine | 100 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #5 | Nuller | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | El Diablo del fuego | +0.86 | 70 | 75 |
| #2 | BLÆST - Lukas | +0.64 | 79 | 61 |
| #3 | Nuller | +0.35 | 56 | 65 |
| #4 | Pølsen | +0.33 | 34 | 64 |
| #5 | [TS] Action Johnson | -0.03 | 71 | 56 |





