








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1344 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 470 matches | ||
| Premier | 143 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Esplay | 55 matches | 1,776 | |
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,846 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11172 | 33% |
| Smokes | 9743 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 7427 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5504 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,296,058 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 280 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desiigexe | 59% | 68 |
| #2 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | 57% | 191 |
| #3 | β Stokkis γ
| 56% | 71 |
| #4 | hemmis | 56% | 131 |
| #5 | Pjoltus | 54% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | 1726 | 0.18 | 38 min |
| #2 | GjertseN | 1170 | 0.11 | 29 min |
| #3 | skug | 929 | 0.17 | 25 min |
| #4 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | 606 | 0.15 | 16 min |
| #5 | Gaarder | 599 | 0.13 | 15 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | +3.45 | 78 | 67 |
| #2 | Pjoltus | +1.36 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | coach sjaman | +0.98 | 70 | 51 |
| #4 | β Stokkis γ
| +0.98 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | BastarD | +0.93 | 69 | 75 |





