








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1168 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 437 matches | ||
| Premier | 337 matches | ||
| Esplay | 78 matches | 1,623 | |
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7098 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 34,424 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8831 | 26% |
| Smokes | 9593 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 8050 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7950 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,568,566 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 192 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | BastarD | 51% | 498 |
| #9 | faceit level 3 player | 50% | 408 |
| #10 | Gaarder | 50% | 216 |
| #11 | skug | 48% | 206 |
| #12 | RamboH | 45% | 121 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | 9 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | BastarD | 7 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Gaarder | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | RamboH | 5 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | hemmis | 3 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | 1601 | 0.19 | 38 min |
| #2 | BastarD | 1470 | 0.14 | 45 min |
| #3 | skug | 870 | 0.19 | 25 min |
| #4 | Gaarder | 621 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #5 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | 444 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | +4.46 | 80 | 68 |
| #2 | coach sjaman | +2.28 | 71 | 54 |
| #3 | Pjoltus | +1.54 | 73 | 64 |
| #4 | BastarD | +1.46 | 70 | 76 |
| #5 | Chr1styy | +1.34 | 78 | 64 |





