








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Premier | 35 matches | ||
| Esplay | 35 matches | 1,767 | |
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3710 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,019 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3218 | 36% |
| Smokes | 2637 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2636 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 528 | 6% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,026,676 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β Stokkis γ
| 64% | 74 |
| #2 | coach sjaman | 59% | 34 |
| #3 | Desiigexe | 58% | 53 |
| #4 | faceit level 3 player | 57% | 150 |
| #5 | BastarD | 57% | 191 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β Stokkis γ
| 5 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | Gaarder | 4 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | faceit level 3 player | 2 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | Desiigexe | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | Tangz | 2 | 0.0052 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | 678 | 0.21 | 14 min |
| #2 | BastarD | 635 | 0.15 | 19 min |
| #3 | GjertseN | 416 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | skug | 412 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #5 | Gaarder | 306 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | +3.83 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | β Stokkis γ
| +1.97 | 69 | 51 |
| #3 | BastarD | +0.79 | 67 | 76 |
| #4 | RamboH | +0.78 | 70 | 56 |
| #5 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | +0.74 | 61 | 59 |





