










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1636 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 496 matches | ||
| Esplay | 60 matches | 2,018 | |
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
11165 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9619 | 29% |
| Smokes | 10403 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 7038 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5856 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,536,963 of utility $93 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 684 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Desiigexe | 61% | 62 |
| #2 | coach sjaman | 61% | 147 |
| #3 | Pjoltus | 60% | 43 |
| #4 | β Stokkis γ
| 59% | 74 |
| #5 | Je | 59% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BastarD | 4 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | GjertseN | 4 | 0.0005 |
| #3 | Gaarder | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | hagz | 2 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | skug | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BastarD | 1394 | 0.14 | 40 min |
| #2 | GjertseN | 1080 | 0.12 | 26 min |
| #3 | skug | 634 | 0.17 | 17 min |
| #4 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | 520 | 0.16 | 14 min |
| #5 | Gaarder | 518 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | +3.71 | 79 | 67 |
| #2 | β Stokkis γ
| +0.89 | 67 | 57 |
| #3 | coach sjaman | +0.81 | 68 | 52 |
| #4 | Je | +0.29 | 72 | 65 |
| #5 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | +0.10 | 56 | 61 |





