








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 155 matches | ||
| Faceit | 141 matches | ||
| Esplay | 42 matches | 1,734 | |
| Wingman | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4010 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,202 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5265 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3364 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 4448 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3125 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,501,956 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 335 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | β Stokkis γ
| 62% | 29 |
| #2 | hemmis | 62% | 50 |
| #3 | coach sjaman | 58% | 31 |
| #4 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | 57% | 97 |
| #5 | Tangz | 56% | 68 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | 5 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | Tangz | 5 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | BastarD | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | β Stokkis γ
| 3 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | 765 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | BastarD | 631 | 0.14 | 18 min |
| #3 | GjertseN | 558 | 0.12 | 13 min |
| #4 | skug | 387 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #5 | β
π
΅π
Έπ
½π
΄π
Έπ
³π
΄ | 294 | 0.15 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | faceit level 3 player | +4.30 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | β Stokkis γ
| +1.81 | 75 | 55 |
| #3 | coach sjaman | +1.77 | 65 | 48 |
| #4 | BastarD | +1.43 | 68 | 75 |
| #5 | Tangz | +1.43 | 52 | 60 |





