








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 877 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 243 matches | ||
| Premier | 198 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4036 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7099 | 34% |
| Smokes | 5268 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4809 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3542 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $762,499 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 307 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RelayP | 58% | 139 |
| #2 | CADZOR | 57% | 80 |
| #3 | Sensaw0w | 55% | 357 |
| #4 | weSs+ | 53% | 428 |
| #5 | BrenDINGELING | 50% | 100 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | weSs+ | 53% | 428 |
| #5 | BrenDINGELING | 50% | 100 |
| #6 | kiet | 47% | 57 |
| #7 | hENDRUCK- | 47% | 30 |
| #8 | wiert | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sensaw0w | 16 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | weSs+ | 12 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | CADZOR | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | RelayP | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | kiet | 3 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | weSs+ | 1744 | 0.19 | 46 min |
| #2 | Sensaw0w | 1006 | 0.13 | 28 min |
| #3 | CADZOR | 394 | 0.22 | 10 min |
| #4 | RelayP | 282 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #5 | BrenDINGELING | 234 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CADZOR | +1.91 | 90 | 70 |
| #2 | weSs+ | +1.58 | 85 | 62 |
| #3 | RelayP | +0.71 | 78 | 60 |
| #4 | MikeyyM | +0.09 | 73 | 65 |
| #5 | Sensaw0w | -0.40 | 77 | 65 |





