








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 739 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 233 matches | ||
| Faceit | 193 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




30 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,643 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5599 | 29% |
| Smokes | 3990 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 5494 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4560 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,109,133 of utility $99 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 235 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bolt | 68% | 31 |
| #2 | CADZOR | 58% | 140 |
| #3 | RelayP | 57% | 164 |
| #4 | KANKER | 56% | 32 |
| #5 | MikeyyM | 55% | 357 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | MikeyyM | 55% | 357 |
| #6 | weSs+ | 54% | 392 |
| #7 | wiert | 54% | 28 |
| #8 | BrenDINGELING | 49% | 120 |
| #9 | kiet | 48% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikeyyM | 20 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | CADZOR | 16 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | weSs+ | 14 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | RelayP | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | KANKER | 7 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MikeyyM | 1767 | 0.23 | 52 min |
| #2 | weSs+ | 1673 | 0.20 | 43 min |
| #3 | CADZOR | 556 | 0.20 | 14 min |
| #4 | RelayP | 325 | 0.10 | 10 min |
| #5 | BrenDINGELING | 271 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CADZOR | +2.35 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | Bolt | +1.96 | 87 | 72 |
| #3 | weSs+ | +1.65 | 84 | 62 |
| #4 | RelayP | +0.88 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | KANKER | +0.23 | 71 | 58 |





