








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 77 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1441 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,494 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 504 | 14% |
| Smokes | 1250 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 858 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 882 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $427,734 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anders | 53% | 32 |
| #2 | kremklatt | 52% | 69 |
| #3 | tobe | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | peak | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | sprayboks | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | tobe | 52% | 48 |
| #4 | peak | 51% | 81 |
| #5 | sprayboks | 50% | 10 |
| #6 | Salt | 49% | 35 |
| #7 | Gary madman YT | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kremklatt | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | peak | 3 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kremklatt | 192 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | peak | 143 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #3 | Salt | 87 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | Anders | 86 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | tobe | 33 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anders | +2.45 | 63 | 65 |
| #2 | Kimlo7 | +0.47 | 70 | 55 |
| #3 | tobe | +0.28 | 44 | 53 |
| #4 | peak | +0.12 | 58 | 61 |
| #5 | kremklatt | -0.25 | 50 | 72 |





