








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 91 matches | ||
| Faceit | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2154 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,386 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1935 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2056 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2028 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1367 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $725,069 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 8 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | tobe | 53% | 106 |
| #11 | Salt | 50% | 88 |
| #12 | kremklatt | 50% | 135 |
| #13 | sprayboks | 48% | 29 |
| #14 | Gilbert Gaming | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kremklatt | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | Kimlo7 | 2 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | Kenso33 | 2 | 0.0032 |
| #4 | Salt | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Gary madman YT | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kremklatt | 266 | 0.10 | 6 min |
| #2 | Salt | 198 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | ☢ FistaMcGee | 106 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #4 | tobe | 88 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | ekkodrid | 88 | 0.08 | 2 min |





