








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1 achievement has been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
840 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,578 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 529 | 21% |
| Smokes | 777 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 810 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 462 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $373,399 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salt | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | tobe | 1 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | Anders | 1 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Salt | 104 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | kremklatt | 82 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Anders | 68 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | tobe | 42 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | Råsen | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |





