








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
991 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,460 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 650 | 19% |
| Smokes | 857 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 979 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 974 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $287,839 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anders | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | kremklatt | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Salt | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | tobe | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Kimlo7 | 51% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anders | 60% | 10 |
| #2 | kremklatt | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | Salt | 57% | 14 |
| #4 | tobe | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Kimlo7 | 51% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimlo7 | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #2 | tobe | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kimlo7 | 81 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #2 | kremklatt | 59 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Salt | 43 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #4 | Anders | 22 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | tobe | 9 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Anders | +1.29 | 59 | 57 |
| #2 | Kimlo7 | +0.20 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | peak | +0.17 | 58 | 62 |
| #4 | tobe | -0.43 | 44 | 49 |
| #5 | kremklatt | -0.62 | 54 | 70 |





