








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 412 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3351 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,818 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2209 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1989 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2175 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2445 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,653,326 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 367 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tina | 75% | 24 |
| #2 | ezsparq | 64% | 284 |
| #3 | sHAW-.^ | 61% | 207 |
| #4 | ROME | 60% | 336 |
| #5 | REG-ULATORRR! | 58% | 142 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | sHAW-.^ | 61% | 207 |
| #4 | ROME | 60% | 336 |
| #5 | REG-ULATORRR! | 58% | 142 |
| #6 | dmg7 | 56% | 137 |
| #7 | Reeze Rog | 54% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ezsparq | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #2 | ROME | 6 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | REG-ULATORRR! | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | dmg7 | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | sHAW-.^ | 2 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROME | 1625 | 0.24 | 38 min |
| #2 | ezsparq | 706 | 0.13 | 17 min |
| #3 | sHAW-.^ | 554 | 0.13 | 14 min |
| #4 | dmg7 | 498 | 0.18 | 10 min |
| #5 | REG-ULATORRR! | 386 | 0.13 | 10 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ezsparq | +2.97 | 91 | 68 |
| #2 | ROME | +2.26 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | Le1no | +0.41 | 87 | 51 |
| #4 | REG-ULATORRR! | +0.18 | 79 | 62 |
| #5 | dmg7 | +0.09 | 75 | 58 |





