








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 92 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1023 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 776 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1856 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1508 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1051 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $619,490 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 83 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ezsparq | 65% | 100 |
| #2 | dmg7 | 64% | 64 |
| #3 | ROME | 60% | 89 |
| #4 | sHAW-.^ | 54% | 72 |
| #5 | Le1no | 54% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | dmg7 | 64% | 64 |
| #3 | ROME | 60% | 89 |
| #4 | sHAW-.^ | 54% | 72 |
| #5 | Le1no | 54% | 89 |
| #6 | REG-ULATORRR! | 48% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ezsparq | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Le1no | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ROME | 460 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | ezsparq | 304 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #3 | dmg7 | 220 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | sHAW-.^ | 218 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #5 | Le1no | 164 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ezsparq | +2.97 | 92 | 68 |
| #2 | ROME | +2.70 | 81 | 68 |
| #3 | dmg7 | +1.95 | 80 | 63 |
| #4 | Le1no | +0.38 | 86 | 48 |
| #5 | REG-ULATORRR! | -0.33 | 83 | 63 |





