








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 322 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 56 matches | ||
| Premier | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 23 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5872 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,706 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3101 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3573 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2595 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3437 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,067,766 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 53 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KISMAAHHH | 62% | 29 |
| #2 | Zeldow | 58% | 134 |
| #3 | Smam | 54% | 256 |
| #4 | tkefni | 53% | 110 |
| #5 | Willy Mcdougall | 51% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Kingnich2 | 50% | 209 |
| #7 | gimp | 50% | 66 |
| #8 | Leeroy | 42% | 152 |
| #9 | aam | 40% | 30 |
| #10 | Doug | 35% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingnich2 | 19 | 0.0050 |
| #2 | Smam | 17 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | tkefni | 10 | 0.0048 |
| #4 | Zeldow | 9 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | Leeroy | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tkefni | 727 | 0.35 | 21 min |
| #2 | Kingnich2 | 492 | 0.13 | 13 min |
| #3 | Smam | 397 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #4 | Zeldow | 274 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | Leeroy | 254 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gibby | +3.33 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | Smam | +2.22 | 76 | 59 |
| #3 | KISMAAHHH | +1.60 | 79 | 69 |
| #4 | tkefni | +0.92 | 72 | 83 |
| #5 | gimp | +0.01 | 69 | 72 |





