








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 291 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Premier | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2343 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,168 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3565 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2866 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2537 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2200 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $469,101 of utility $65 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 156 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smam | 53% | 165 |
| #2 | Gibby | 50% | 209 |
| #3 | Zeldow | 49% | 85 |
| #4 | Leeroy | 43% | 183 |
| #5 | Doug | 33% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smam | 53% | 165 |
| #2 | Gibby | 50% | 209 |
| #3 | Zeldow | 49% | 85 |
| #4 | Leeroy | 43% | 183 |
| #5 | Doug | 33% | 88 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smam | 12 | 0.0036 |
| #2 | Gibby | 8 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | Zeldow | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | Leeroy | 4 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Doug | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Leeroy | 332 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #2 | Smam | 290 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | Gibby | 281 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #4 | Zeldow | 192 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Doug | 108 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gibby | +5.90 | 89 | 60 |
| #2 | Smam | +3.17 | 78 | 60 |
| #3 | Zeldow | -0.59 | 53 | 56 |
| #4 | Kingnich2 | -2.43 | 61 | 58 |
| #5 | Leeroy | -3.03 | 46 | 44 |





