








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1289 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,336 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 898 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1084 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1268 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1086 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $223,652 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smam | 66% | 91 |
| #2 | Gibby | 58% | 134 |
| #3 | Kingnich2 | 49% | 85 |
| #4 | Leeroy | 44% | 57 |
| #5 | Doug | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smam | 66% | 91 |
| #2 | Gibby | 58% | 134 |
| #3 | Kingnich2 | 49% | 85 |
| #4 | Leeroy | 44% | 57 |
| #5 | Doug | 35% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Smam | 7 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Kingnich2 | 7 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | Gibby | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #4 | Leeroy | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kingnich2 | 229 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #2 | Gibby | 183 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #3 | Smam | 153 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #4 | Leeroy | 108 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Doug | 34 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gibby | +4.93 | 87 | 58 |
| #2 | Smam | +2.42 | 76 | 53 |
| #3 | Zeldow | -0.22 | 50 | 53 |
| #4 | Kingnich2 | -3.09 | 59 | 57 |
| #5 | Leeroy | -3.12 | 48 | 41 |





